Men, Marriage, and Mid-20's Crisis
So last night I was talking to my dear friend Hannah. We were recapping our very adventurous weekends, mine: my cousins wedding and hers: sister's prom. Now, this might seem a little mundane, but for both of us this included a lot of planning and travel as we went to the ends of the earth (not really... but kinda) to see our families.
As we talked we began to talk about men and dating and eventual marriage. If you haven't seen 27 Dresses, it's been my life this year and has spurred some interesting conversations. First of all, I've been very excited for most of my friends who have gotten married because I think that God has truly been at work in their relationships and that they got married because they wanted to and not because they had to or felt some pressure from the world to be married. I also feel that the men that they've married have been assets to their lives and definitely not drains and that I see them having long healthy relationships with bumps and roadblocks, detours, and wonderful excitement.
While out with my aunt this last weekend, she pointed out the type of guy she had expected my cousin to marry, and we both commented that we really love Brian better! I couldn't ask for someone better for my cousin because he is amazing... and when he becomes famous he's going to buy me a new car, which is always a plus. So then I asked her what kind of guy she sees me with. She commented that she hasn't seen him yet because all the guys she might see me with are way to serious and she knows that I'm going to need a guy with a bit of quirky funny to keep me from being high strung.
Enter the late night conversation last night. As crazy as this may sound I know that I'm going to wind up with some weird guys guy... Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen type. He's going to be quirky cute, with an obnoxious sense of humor, ridiculus friends, who will keep me planted because when it comes down to it he's got a good heart and the ability to make real decisions despite what people might think. I definitely won't be able to let him spend too much time with my youth because he will teach them how to get away with all the things that I pray they are smart enough to stay away from, and at the same time he will laugh at me and tell me they will turn out just fine. When I get all nervous or irritated or crazy mad about something he'll remind me that it's not the end of the world. And when I make rash decisions he'll be there to help me sort out what the heck I was thinking. And when he needs to stand up and be a man, he'll do it because that's what he does and who he is.
It's kinda scary because I have said ever since If Lucy Fell... that I would probably be 30 before I got married... and well we are on the way there because I'm almost 26. It's a little weird because I'm more freaked out about this birthday while all of my friends had their freak outs last year. Not that I'm all "I'm old" or anything, it's just like I'm over the hump and it feels weird because it's really time to make adult decisions and I'm not a "kid" anymore. It's when hanging out at the bar scene becomes more like a sad pity place than something to do on the weekend. Not that it's a scene that I frequent, but now it doesn't even seem like an option because it seems pathetic.
My mother and my aunt were both done having kids by my age, and my mom was living what she didn't know were the last few years of her life... and here I am really just beginning my life. I have a feeling at that 32 is going to be a really rough year for me, but that's still 7 years from now. I know that it's a blessing to spend time here with friends and family and that I'm blessed in my life. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone to share those things with and sometime's I'm thankful that I can come home at night and be alone because I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to.
I guess my biggest concern is that as I get older and live more and more years by myself, how in the world will I ever adjust to someone else being in my house?! What if I actually have to pick up my house every night because otherwise it'll get twice as messy twice as fast? What if I actually have to take back the two pairs of shoes I bought because they looked really good on my feet, but we haven't bought groceries yet and he's not willing to eat frozen dinners til payday in exchange? What if he drinks all the milk when I want cereal? Seem like ridiculus thoughts but seriously?! And I just don't think it's going to get better as I spend more and more time not having to share. I'm slowly becoming like an only child who doesn't like to share and the longer I'm single and housemateless, the worse it's going to get. And I'm not having a housemate, because like I said, I don't share well especially since right now I dont' have to.
Well, that's enough rambling for one night.
As we talked we began to talk about men and dating and eventual marriage. If you haven't seen 27 Dresses, it's been my life this year and has spurred some interesting conversations. First of all, I've been very excited for most of my friends who have gotten married because I think that God has truly been at work in their relationships and that they got married because they wanted to and not because they had to or felt some pressure from the world to be married. I also feel that the men that they've married have been assets to their lives and definitely not drains and that I see them having long healthy relationships with bumps and roadblocks, detours, and wonderful excitement.
While out with my aunt this last weekend, she pointed out the type of guy she had expected my cousin to marry, and we both commented that we really love Brian better! I couldn't ask for someone better for my cousin because he is amazing... and when he becomes famous he's going to buy me a new car, which is always a plus. So then I asked her what kind of guy she sees me with. She commented that she hasn't seen him yet because all the guys she might see me with are way to serious and she knows that I'm going to need a guy with a bit of quirky funny to keep me from being high strung.
Enter the late night conversation last night. As crazy as this may sound I know that I'm going to wind up with some weird guys guy... Adam Sandler, Seth Rogen type. He's going to be quirky cute, with an obnoxious sense of humor, ridiculus friends, who will keep me planted because when it comes down to it he's got a good heart and the ability to make real decisions despite what people might think. I definitely won't be able to let him spend too much time with my youth because he will teach them how to get away with all the things that I pray they are smart enough to stay away from, and at the same time he will laugh at me and tell me they will turn out just fine. When I get all nervous or irritated or crazy mad about something he'll remind me that it's not the end of the world. And when I make rash decisions he'll be there to help me sort out what the heck I was thinking. And when he needs to stand up and be a man, he'll do it because that's what he does and who he is.
It's kinda scary because I have said ever since If Lucy Fell... that I would probably be 30 before I got married... and well we are on the way there because I'm almost 26. It's a little weird because I'm more freaked out about this birthday while all of my friends had their freak outs last year. Not that I'm all "I'm old" or anything, it's just like I'm over the hump and it feels weird because it's really time to make adult decisions and I'm not a "kid" anymore. It's when hanging out at the bar scene becomes more like a sad pity place than something to do on the weekend. Not that it's a scene that I frequent, but now it doesn't even seem like an option because it seems pathetic.
My mother and my aunt were both done having kids by my age, and my mom was living what she didn't know were the last few years of her life... and here I am really just beginning my life. I have a feeling at that 32 is going to be a really rough year for me, but that's still 7 years from now. I know that it's a blessing to spend time here with friends and family and that I'm blessed in my life. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone to share those things with and sometime's I'm thankful that I can come home at night and be alone because I don't have to talk to anyone if I don't want to.
I guess my biggest concern is that as I get older and live more and more years by myself, how in the world will I ever adjust to someone else being in my house?! What if I actually have to pick up my house every night because otherwise it'll get twice as messy twice as fast? What if I actually have to take back the two pairs of shoes I bought because they looked really good on my feet, but we haven't bought groceries yet and he's not willing to eat frozen dinners til payday in exchange? What if he drinks all the milk when I want cereal? Seem like ridiculus thoughts but seriously?! And I just don't think it's going to get better as I spend more and more time not having to share. I'm slowly becoming like an only child who doesn't like to share and the longer I'm single and housemateless, the worse it's going to get. And I'm not having a housemate, because like I said, I don't share well especially since right now I dont' have to.
Well, that's enough rambling for one night.
Labels: and frozen dinners, man, mid-20's crisis, sharing
posted by Kristy Laughed @ 8:18 PM
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