Frustrated
Last nite was a very rough nite. Hannie, when you read this, I apologize for not coming back to AIM, I wound up talking to parents and then my kids showed up so I wasn't back in my office.
I've really been struggling with some of my junior highers lately, especially the boys, and their inability to show respect to each other, to myself, or to things. I've had a group that has been taking food out of the church kitchen from the pre-school, I've had them hitting each other and breaking things, they're not trowing away their trash after they eat at the youth house, and a couple of my sixth graders simply refuse to pay attention.
In the last week it has all come to a point where I'm sick of it. I told my class last nite that if they could not allow me to get through the materials and not talk over me, I was calling parents and I wasn't putting up with it anymore. All was going well, except for one of my favorite kids was simply driving me up a wall trying to challenge him. When I told him that I was going to call his parents, he didn't care. He refuses to admit that he's being disruptive to the class, and quite honestly, I was ticked! He was pushing my buttons on purpose and that really erked me. Finally I looked at him and told him that if calling his parents wasn't going to bother him, and if he wasn't going to come to class with an attitude that will allow others to learn even if he doesn't want to, that we'd talk about whether he was ready to be in the class or if one of his parents had to come and sit with him throughout class. The last part seemed to finally catch his attention, and it killed me. I know that parents struggle with this, because when you care, you have to lay down boundaries and stick with them; but it doesn't mean that you like doing it. You wish they would simply do it on their own, but they can't. That's why they need people to do it for them.
I talked to Hannie, and she told me that it sounded like I did the right thing. I know that I needed to do it, and I have to call his mom today and let her know what's going on; but it still breaks my heart.
When I talked to Doug last night, I was so frustrated that I was literally shaking. At first he was really getting on my nerves because Confirmation is something that we disagree on. He doesn't see the need for the kids to go through this. He started going on some speel about how you can't expect kids are going to have bad days and be active and that it's just Church, and I very frustratingly told him that I wasn't listening to him anymore. He kept talking and I had to say it again. Finally he got quiet and let me talk.
I was so frustrated I was crying. I told him that Confirmation is voluntary. We don't force the kids to do this, but we have Confirmation so that these kids have a better foundation of what they believe in so it's not simply blind faith, and so they can see what God has done for them and not something they say simply because their parents say they are. And I've been having trouble with this kid in class for weeks! It wasn't just one bad day. I was shaking so bad that he could tell over the phone. I told him that him discounting what I teach is like people saying that the military is a conspiracy and not worth crap, and what do we REALLY need them for; and that people actually do say that. Then he felt like a jerk and apologized. I think last nite, I finally was able to make him understand just a little bit about why we have Confirmation and it's importance to me. He let me vent for a long time and after I explained what had happened he supported me and said that it sounded like I did the right thing, and that disciplining is never easy. I wanted him to understand, but I wasn't going to try and battle with him either, I'd done enough of that with my kids... but when he let me talk... he let me TALK and he listened. I needed that last nite, and when it happened it was good. I'm so thankful that God has put Doug in my life because even though I was still worn down, well... I still am even today... that Doug'll let me say what I need to say and once he realizes where I'm at, he seems to know what to do to help me debrief and regroup. I love that about him. I appreciate that about him.
I'm still frustrated with the situation with my kids, and I know it's because I care about them and I want them to get something out of what we're doing. I pray that God will give me the strength to do this.
I've really been struggling with some of my junior highers lately, especially the boys, and their inability to show respect to each other, to myself, or to things. I've had a group that has been taking food out of the church kitchen from the pre-school, I've had them hitting each other and breaking things, they're not trowing away their trash after they eat at the youth house, and a couple of my sixth graders simply refuse to pay attention.
In the last week it has all come to a point where I'm sick of it. I told my class last nite that if they could not allow me to get through the materials and not talk over me, I was calling parents and I wasn't putting up with it anymore. All was going well, except for one of my favorite kids was simply driving me up a wall trying to challenge him. When I told him that I was going to call his parents, he didn't care. He refuses to admit that he's being disruptive to the class, and quite honestly, I was ticked! He was pushing my buttons on purpose and that really erked me. Finally I looked at him and told him that if calling his parents wasn't going to bother him, and if he wasn't going to come to class with an attitude that will allow others to learn even if he doesn't want to, that we'd talk about whether he was ready to be in the class or if one of his parents had to come and sit with him throughout class. The last part seemed to finally catch his attention, and it killed me. I know that parents struggle with this, because when you care, you have to lay down boundaries and stick with them; but it doesn't mean that you like doing it. You wish they would simply do it on their own, but they can't. That's why they need people to do it for them.
I talked to Hannie, and she told me that it sounded like I did the right thing. I know that I needed to do it, and I have to call his mom today and let her know what's going on; but it still breaks my heart.
When I talked to Doug last night, I was so frustrated that I was literally shaking. At first he was really getting on my nerves because Confirmation is something that we disagree on. He doesn't see the need for the kids to go through this. He started going on some speel about how you can't expect kids are going to have bad days and be active and that it's just Church, and I very frustratingly told him that I wasn't listening to him anymore. He kept talking and I had to say it again. Finally he got quiet and let me talk.
I was so frustrated I was crying. I told him that Confirmation is voluntary. We don't force the kids to do this, but we have Confirmation so that these kids have a better foundation of what they believe in so it's not simply blind faith, and so they can see what God has done for them and not something they say simply because their parents say they are. And I've been having trouble with this kid in class for weeks! It wasn't just one bad day. I was shaking so bad that he could tell over the phone. I told him that him discounting what I teach is like people saying that the military is a conspiracy and not worth crap, and what do we REALLY need them for; and that people actually do say that. Then he felt like a jerk and apologized. I think last nite, I finally was able to make him understand just a little bit about why we have Confirmation and it's importance to me. He let me vent for a long time and after I explained what had happened he supported me and said that it sounded like I did the right thing, and that disciplining is never easy. I wanted him to understand, but I wasn't going to try and battle with him either, I'd done enough of that with my kids... but when he let me talk... he let me TALK and he listened. I needed that last nite, and when it happened it was good. I'm so thankful that God has put Doug in my life because even though I was still worn down, well... I still am even today... that Doug'll let me say what I need to say and once he realizes where I'm at, he seems to know what to do to help me debrief and regroup. I love that about him. I appreciate that about him.
I'm still frustrated with the situation with my kids, and I know it's because I care about them and I want them to get something out of what we're doing. I pray that God will give me the strength to do this.
posted by Kristy Laughed @ 8:17 AM
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