Everything is Meaningless Under the Sun

So it's been a while since I've posted. Things have been crazy busy at work and I haven't spent much time online. The picture to the right is of Doug and I. He has such a Chandler smile! We had a really good weekend. I learned to shoot a 9mm and a mini 14. Even scarier what that I'm pretty good! We spent a lot of time watching movies and talking, and really just being together, which was nice. We both enjoyed our time together. On Saturday we met my aunt and the girls in Ft. Worth and had lunch. The other picture is of my cousin Myria and I. I couldn't believe she's already 4 months pregnant! I'm going to be an aunt in like 5 months!

So, before I left Doug and I answered the big question: Where are we going? He couldn't handle me not being around and only being able to see me a couple of times a year. He really wanted me to come back and go back for my masters, so that we could date. However, I couldn't do that. If it were truly worth it for he to want to be with me, he'd be willing to deal with a little emotional angst until it would truly be appropriate for me to move back. So we left it sadly, as no longer a couple, but still friends. We were friends before, we were friends during, and we'll be friends after. I don't know for how long, but I know that he's a good friend to me, and that's important.

Before I left, I asked God to help me see where I needed to be. I asked Him to let me know that either I'd made the right decision to move here, or that I could go back to OKC and that it would still be God pleasing. I don't regret going back and seeing where things were with Doug, and I don't regret any part of my relationship with him. Going back helped me answer the "What if" questions that were running through my head. Yes, if I'd stayed down there, we'd have continued to date, but would I have been happy, and would I have been asking myself "What if I'd taken a Call?" This way, I know what would happen if I took a Call, and I know enough of what would have happened if we'd continued to date to know that I love him, he's an amazing, but I want more than he could give me, at least right now; and we're both going to be better off in the long run. I know that we both have learned a lot from each other, and I've learned a lot about myself also. I'm not discontent being single. I wasn't discontent before about being single. However, it is wonderful to have someone who you can share your life with, because it means that you get to share the gifts God has given you with someone else.

Here's my conclusion: In Ecclesiastes it talks about how everything is meaningless under the sun. Basically this means that there is nothing on earth that is going to make us happy. You can drink and party until the wee hours of the morning, but when you wake up you're drunk, hung over, and have a headeach. You can date endlessly, one guy or many guys; but there is no purpose to it because those relationships are going to end, whether it be that it ends after dating, or you are married for 50 years and one of you dies. You can build friendships, but friends come a go. People change and grow differently. You can never go back and have the same connection as before, because that's in the past and things are different.

BUT, there is a meaning, there is a purpose. God has made us and He never gets tired of us. He made us desiring for eternity, in our relationships, for immortality, for happiness to last forever. That is why our hearts long for things to stay the same and for things to never end. Without God every relationship we have will end, every pet we have will die, we will die. But God isn't bound by time and He's not 'under the sun'. Through faith in His Son who overcame sin, death, and the devil, we are given perfection, eternal life, and a blessed relationship that never ends with our Father. He will restore our relationships and will tell us what is good. Thankfully God looks at me and when I ask, "why did you make me?" God will answer, "Because you are my creation and you are good." And when I ask, "WHY?" God will answer like any loving parent, "Because I said so."

General Babbling

I've been told it's been too long since I've written and I haven't given any updates. So here goes!

I leave on Thursday to go down to Oklahoma, which I'm really excited about! Saturday morning Doug and I are driving down to Ft. Worth to meet my aunt and cousins for lunch and I guess hang out for a while. We're not all that excited about driving down there, but I am excited about him meeting my aunt because her opinion is the one that I trust the most. Doug no longer seems all that nervous about it either, which is good, because last Thursday when I asked him if we could do this, he said yes, but that he was going to be quiet and nervous, and now he's the one making plans for what we're going to do.

Actually, this weekend is going to be quite crazy because Thursday Doug and I are having dinner with a couple of his friends, Friday morning is gun range with Doug, Friday lunch is with Pastor and Cynthia, Friday afternoon is my time with HANNIE!, Friday evening is dinner with the girls and then bed early because Sat. morning is the drive to Ft. Worth. And then Sunday, I'm doing nothing! Well, not nothing... apparently Doug is planning something, but I don't know what it is. I love surprises though, so I'm all for it.

Things in Green Bay are going crazy. I actually got quite a bit of affirmation from my staff today, which I probably needed. There is so much to do before Thursday, and I have no desire to do it, but it's slowly getting done. My junior highers really made me happy last Wednesday because we were out raking leaves for random neighbors of the church, and they worked so well together, they had such positive attitudes, and they were really shining!

Actually, this last weekend was really fun too because I got to see three of my kids in a play at the high school, and one of my boys in a play-off football game (that they lost, but boy did they play hard!). It was great. Then Sunday I went to the Packer/Steeler game, and I have to say that I'm sick of watching Green Bay lose, but I had a good time with my Pastor's and Jaki, and then I had a blast hanging out with Josh after the game! Even with a losing season, Packer fans are a ton of fun.

Well, I will definitely write again soon, probably once I get back... and there shall be pictures of Doug for my dear friends who have yet to see a pic. (sorry) I'm SO EXCITED! Thursday can't get here fast enough.