I'm Exhausted!

Okay, so I'm writing but I'm not sure why. I'm absolutely exhausted. I was fine until earlier this morning I had a coughing fit (popcorn breakfast got stuck in the wrong hole) and my eyes were watering and just going nuts. Then I went to Tuesday morning Bible study, and I it just hit that I'm exhausted! I hate feeling this way. It's bazzaire! Work on the house is coming along nicely as there are only two more ceilings to go, and rooms are getting closer to being done. I don't recommend having to paint the entirety of the insides of a house, but if you do... it's best empty! I couldn't imagine doing this with a house full of furniture, which is why I'm blessed that it's getting done before I move.

I do have to say that I love the Tuesday morning group. It's not always only women, Pastor is of course not female, and then there is normally one other retired gentleman who comes, but I think he's visiting the south, and I don't blame him. It's really great though because I learn so much from this group of older women. They are absolutely marvelous.

It's really sad that in our culture we wish we were twentysomething again. But honestly, why? I think it's great that God gives us time in each era of our lives. However, the desire to stay young isn't really a sin though is it. I can say that because we weren't made to age and die. We were made to live eternally, that is the way God intended it. So, that desire to stay young isn't so uncalled for. However, we must remember that on this earth we are always decaying because that's what sin causes, death and decay. From the moment of birth we are growing up to die. Thanks to sin we must die an earthly death, but we do not truly die! Thank God for His grace and Jesus' sacrifice of Himself and the Spirit's gift of faith. We've got a God who calls a spade a spade, and so He knows that we deserve to go to hell. However, we're blessed every day with the wisdom that through His Son's atoning sacrifice of Himself, on the cross, that through His blood we are paid for in full, and through the gift of faith from the Spirit, we know that this is true. I am so blessed to have God love and care for me the way that He does.

Didn't know I was going to go there, but it's Lent and it's a stiff reminder of true repentance and God's plan to save His creation. So praise be to God that I am so blessed that He chose me in baptism to be His child and to have revealed in my life all of the blessings that He gives!

2500

I was just talking with one of my youth's mom, who asked about Doug and what had ever happened to him. I explained that I had gone back and that we had ended our relationship, but that it truly was a God send that it happened. She kinda smiled and said that she'd heard somewhere that each of us has 2500 different possible compatible spouses that we could be truly content with. She couldn't remember where the research came from, but I thought that it was kinda interesting and worth quoting simply for this... only 2495 left! It's all based on timing because it doesn't matter how good the match... if the timing or the place is wrong, then he may be one of your 2500, but you can at least mark him off due to timing. I just have to laugh, but it's true. There isn't just one possible spouse for each of us. We get to choose, praise be to God! (If I got stuck with some of the guys my friends have tried to hook me up with... let's just say they weren't one of my 2500 compatible males!)

So here is to lower numbers and better odds than 1 prince charming!

Cheers!

In Response To Hannie

Hannie~ I didn't want to simply place this as a response on your blog, because I was afraid that it would get long... however, I do want to respond to your latest blog on "beating around the bush."

First of all, I do believe that you are extremely mature; and while that seems like a very heavy burden to bear, I'd like to expand upon that. Maturity has to do with how you handle your downfalls and all of the fun things that life throws in our midst. Marturity is owning up to our downfalls and realizing that if people can't forgive us for them, then they weren't that important in our lives in the first place. Maturity is being able to remain close to good friends, but being able and willing to expand your circle and meet and make new good friends. They don't replace the ones we love, but they build on our circle of love and blessings from God. Maturity is also being able to realize that not everyone is mature, but that you can still love and care for them, and watch God work in their lives in His timing. It's knowing that while God has given us the gift of disernment about some things, others may not have received it yet. The difference is that they will have grown in different areas of their lives at different times and know things that we don't know. Thank God for not knowing everything.

I also have to say that it's okay to feel sad and lonely. Don't discount those times... think of how David felt after Nathan called him out. Reread Pslam 51 again... you could probably just recite it. Or how Moses must have felt when God called him back to Eygpt, or how any of the prophets felt telling unwilling ears about God's plans. Or even better yet, as we enter Lent... how sad and lonely Christ must have felt as He looked upon the sad, beaten, sinful, and blind eyes of His Father's creation. When He cried out "Abba, Father" remember that as Vasco would say, the best translation is really "Daddy... Daddy..." Even Jesus needed to crawl into His Father's arms and cry.

The desires of our heart are what pull us closer to God. In times of weakness, sadness, and lonliness, we realize that there is only one place we can go to have that completely filled, and that's the God. Some days is easy to be content in what God has given us, while other times we want or need more. Don't be afraid to ask. Change is good, but it's hard. However, the more change we experience, the harder we take it at first and the quicker we adapt later. Just know that God knows your heart even better than you and that in times like this, He is simply calling your closer, which can be a scary place to be. (It calls for more of the maturity stuff!)

Just know that God is blessing you and is continuously forming you into the perfect child He planned for you to be. It's good to know that we're a work in progress, because otherwise we'd have nothing to look forward to.

P.S. I love that your blog isn't one minded but fluid... it makes us think and that is good! So keep beating around the bush so that the rest of us don't become stale in our thinking!